what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock Fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Obama Getting Re-Elected.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's big and purple? Barney

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops