What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops