A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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what's white, sits around all day, and sucks on tits? a baby.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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It's all Taggart

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Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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