A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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