Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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