YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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A: What Santa said when he caught Mrs. Claus with one of his elves... Q: What is "Ho ho ho?"

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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