Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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