What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops