My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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