What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

Tim likes girls

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

What did the black person say to the white person I'm black your white

Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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