Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

Take part of what?

Dwight Howard

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

Q: What happens when two feminists try to chanbe a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...