- Anti Joke

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

21

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste