Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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women's rights.

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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