So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

I killed someone on minecraft.

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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