What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Women deserve equal rights.

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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