An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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Why did the Liberal tell the truth? If one ever does we will have the answer.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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whats hairy and crys your mom

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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