Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

The duck didn't cross the road.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

My name is me I like fired chicken!

Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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