Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops