There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

your so fat. your fat!

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

guess what>? your mum lol

My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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