Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops