Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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Whats green? The color green.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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