What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Pigachu is a Porkemon.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You're a big fat monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops