Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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This is a joke.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops