How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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