Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops