I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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how do you win a game try your best

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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