Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops