What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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