Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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