How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=eOr5o3kd5fIcpM:&imgrefurl=http://imgfave.com/search/be%2520stupid&docid=_B1z3__jBeF0wM&imgurl=http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1vrh3OhfK1r158a9o1_500.jpg&w=485&h=650&ei=Jo3HT-anK4To9ASrrp2KDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=104&vpy=105&dur=1249&hovh=260&hovw=194&tx=86&ty=138&sig=104463583013410208018&page=3&tbnh=162&tbnw=121&start=23&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:23,i:149

What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

what's black and can't swim?

Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

9/11

What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

What is long hard and woody? A tree.

There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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