What's 2+2? Fish

Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, pringles,

Cripples are lame.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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