You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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