What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

A dancer walks into a barre

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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