How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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hey i just met you.. and this is crazy. but here my facebook so add me maybe!!

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops