A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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