How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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