What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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sorry, that was a really bad joke, joking just joking, of course we can chat later, you got something in particular to do?

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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why did the zebra cross the road?

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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