A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Why don't black people ever defend themselves on anti jokes? Because black people are slaves.

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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