What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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