What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops