Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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k

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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