eoin burgin is fat

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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95556

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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