mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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Where does the Queen of England live? England.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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