A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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