Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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The cream, it is coming

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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a black man did not eat chicken.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops