Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

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What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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women's rights

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

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how do u kill a blonde: drop something shiny at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 2 blondes: but a mirror at the bottom of a pool how do u kill 3 blondes: ask which 1 of them is the prettiest and then wait 5 minuetes:)

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

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Ubisoft presents a game by ubisoft

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops