- Anti Joke

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

Knock Knock Who's there

Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

Granny porn!

How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

How do you keep a blond in suspense?

A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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