Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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why girl die cancer

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A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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