Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

Tunechi

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

knock knock who`s there me oh come in

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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