Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops