Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

Indians

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

What's half of 8? o

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...