What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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knock knock go away

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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