Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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