Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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A man walks into a bar

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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